What I Did Wrong
~Greg Behrendt co-author of “It’s Called a Break-up Because It’s Broken”
It’s easy to blow off a job you don’t have. It’s easy to not call friends you don’t have, blow off a workout you don’t have, or a hobby you don’t have. It’s easy to defer a dream you don’t have. But it’s hard not having a life. When the smoke began to clear and I sobered up, I realized that the focus of my life had been her and the lack of her. You have to know this about me. I love being in love. I love butterflies and the love of the first kiss. I love notes and e-mails and phone messages. I love the smells, the sounds, and the tastes. But at a different point in my life, I also liked being sad and fucked up, drinking excessively, listening to depressing indie rock, and sleeping through the day. I was either The Guy Who’s In Love or The Guy Who’s Been Crushed by Love. Both of these images gave me an identity. But when the dust of my uber-breakup began to settle, The Guy Without Any Plans and that had to change. This is when I had the most amazing thought: “I get to start over.” I know it doesn’t sound amazing, let alone revolutionary, but that is exactly what it was. It’s weird how you can hear certain words through out your life and they bounce right off you. But when the reality of that situation hits you, when all you want is another chance, when you hate how you’ve been living and suddenly an option appears, those very words can be a life preserver. And in the blink of an eye, the world seemed full of possibilities. How it happened I don’t know. But ever since, I’d begun taking care of myself by getting out of bed, showering regularly, and leaving the house, I became increasingly open to new ideas because I began to truly feel and recognize that the way I’d been living wasn’t doing it for me. Gosh, it only took me eight months to figure out that the first step was getting out of bed every day.