Today I have this excerpt from a book I read, written by one of my favorite comedians and bad-ass mental health advocate Maria Bamford, reminding you that, no, people who die by suicide are not “cowards”. They didn’t “take the easy way out.”

I understand why people might think that. They’re sad that their friend is dead. Their son/daughter. Their brother/sister. Niece/nephew. Co worker. Whoever. They’re sad, and it’s easier to be angry than to feel the sadness.

"Anger is just grief's bodyguard." ~Liza Palmer

And I get it. I was angry. When my friend died of cancer -sadly I’ve had a few friends die of cancer-, I spent a couple years angry at her. For a lot of reasons. The circumstances surrounding her death. Her deliberate choice at the end. Or how she chose to isolate herself in the months leading up to it, and that I respected that choice and didn’t get more time with her.

Eventually I realized I was just sad. I missed my friend.

And I think that’s why people say that those who end their lives are cowards or “took the easy way out.” Because it’s easier than trying to understand the pain they were in. Easier than dealing with their own grief of missing that person. (Either that, or those people really are just buttholes. 🤷‍♂️)

Because they are not cowards. They are some of the bravest people I know.

We fight our broken brains every day. Getting up and finding another reason to go on. We try the therapy (for those that can afford it, as it’s not accessible to everyone) and we take the pills. We get tips and tricks from social media, or Google, and we find Facebook groups to join. Online communities of people who have been there, and have developed coping mechanism we haven’t thought of. We try to find little joys through out the day that motivate us. Maybe we stay alive by giving ourselves things to look forward to that will keep us here another day: A cousin, who is more like a brother and is visiting from out of state that summer. Your favorite band coming next year. A birthday dinner you don’t want to miss.

The fact that your mom will be crushed.

Or maybe you gotta stay alive because you know that no one on this earth will love and care for your chronically ill wife the way you do.

Whatever it may be that keeps you here.

And we we take those tools -the therapy (for those that have access to it), the friendships around you, the things to look forward, the online communities, the responsibilities you have, knowing the devastation it will cause loved ones. Whatever it is. We take those and we get up and go on for one more day.

It’s probably how Chester Bennington lasted as long as he did. It’s likely how Robin Williams made it to 63. Anthony Bourdain, Chris Cornell. How comedian and mental health advocate Maria Bamford is 55 and still going.

So today I celebrate all of us who are still here, finding our own reasons, “crushing and grinding” for as long as we can.

I’m proud of you and glad you’re still here.

#MentalHealthAwarenessMonth continues.

And so do I……

#DepressionLies 
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#BeThe1To #ReasonsISpeak
#StopSuicide #IKeptLiving #PTSDAwareness #YouMatter🤘 #YoureNeeded🤘 #YouRock🤘