Hey! People with Spina Bifida, or anybody that’s had more than 2-3 surgeries…

……no matter how many you’ve had or what they were for, do you also start to freak out about 48 hours before surgery, or is it just me?!

“Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?”

Because for me, with this relatively minor procedure, I’m not terribly worried about things going wrong.

Just… I dunno….the Sights and Sounds of Surgery™

As soon as you walk through the doors…

“Here, change into this.”

And the wristband they slap on you.

The IV….

The foamy white liquid they use “just to calm you down. “

Versed.

The list of endless questions.

“Have you ever had a reaction to anaesthesia?

“Are you allergic to anything?”

“Have you ever had other surgery?”

(That one’s hilarious to someone with SB!)

Then there’s the person that comes in and marks you up before surgery before the surgeon gets there.

“❌”   “✅”   “🚫”   “↙️”

AND THE LIGHTS!!!!

The flourescent lights and ugly-ass white accoustic tiles that exist in every hospital no matter how “new and modern” it is. Those tiles whizzing past you as you lay in the hospital bed and are being wheeled to the O.R.

I hate those tiles.

I hate the lights whizzing by me.

And when you’re finally rolled into the operating room…..the sights and sounds in there are overpowering to all new senses.

The cold steel “bed” they lay you on.

The bright overhead light.

All the stainless steel tools they’ll use to cut you open.

And the smell of….clean.

Of sterile.

The alcohol, and the iodine, and the hydrogen peroxide, and the ammonium, and the and the and the….

…..smells like wasabi to me.

Like horseradish.

I hate horseradish.

“Count backwards from 10.” Yeah I stopped doing that years ago, never make it past 8 anyway.

Yep. Freaking out a little. I know I’ll be alright. I know it’s a small surgery.

Especially compared to the other ones! Still, 36 years after my first surgery, when I was hours old and I’m sure some part of my subconscious remembers, and 19 surgeries later, its the sights and sounds of it all that are still just

So.

Damn.

Uncomfortable.

Is it just me?

(written a few years ago. We’re up to 22 total surgeries now. Less than some, more than others. 🤷‍♂️)